Emily Howard, Writer

I’ve been away for awhile, I know.

I don’t know if it’s because I’m a Pisces or a perfectionist, but I have an all-or-nothing personality and if I cannot think of exactly the right thing to write, I don’t write at all. Yeah, definitely perfectionist. I’m working on that.

Sunday at church our pastor posed a question that made me think (that’s how it’s supposed to work, right? Great job, JK). Imagine if a man in a wheelchair was prayed over and suddenly got up and walked during service. If a faith healing occurred during our church service, he asked, wouldn’t you go out and tell everyone about it? How amazing it was? How they need to come to your church to see these kinds of miracles?

Then he asked: have you had any miracles in your life? (my answer: resounding YES)

Then he asked: then why aren’t you telling people about it?

BAM.

Listen, I struggle with the whole evangelism thing, and I’m sure I’m not the only one. I want to share the gospel but I struggle with the best, most effective way to do it. I know door-to-door ain’t it anymore, if it ever was. So, as with the blog, if it’s not perfect, I don’t do it.

I want to share a miracle that happened in my life, but since I can’t figure out how to do it face to face, for right now it will be in writing. It might not be the absolute best way, but at least it is something. So here goes:

I am an alcoholic, and grace saved my life. That is my miracle.

A lot of people know this about me, but a lot of people don’t. And that’s OK. I don’t go around telling everyone I meet. But I also am not afraid to tell anyone because I want my story to help people. I want anyone who is in the dark place I used to be in to know that there is hope of a better life, an AMAZING life. A miraculous life. 

I won’t go into all of the gory details (and there are quite a few). For those who are interested, I have a video testimony on this blog (title: Getting Real). Short version: I spent a lot of my teens and twenties partying, and when I got married and had kids and it was time to stop I was unable to. It doesn’t matter if I blame it on genetics or depression and anxiety, the bottom line is I was a giant hot mess.

This all culminated in May of 2012 when on the way home from a work trip I was arrested for DUI. At three in the afternoon, while my beautiful children were at school and day care. I spent the night in jail and thought my life was over. You want to talk about rock bottom? That was mine.

The next morning my husband Jess came to pick me up and I expected shame at best and threats to leave me at worst. That’s what I believed I deserved. What he gave me was a hug. What he gave me was grace. What he showed me was the absolute most beautiful thing I ever received, the only thing that could have saved me: the unconditional love of Jesus.

In August of that year I went on my Walk to Emmaus and was able to lay my addiction at the foot of the cross, another miracle. Since then the miracles keep coming. I keep stepping out in faith and God keeps blessing it. I am all in, sold out for Jesus and I have never been happier. November 9th was my six year sober anniversary. I and my family are happy, healthy, and blessed.

So, a YouTube video of this miracle would not get many hits. It is not flashy. But it is real. Jesus saved my life, my marriage, and my family. I believe that. He continues to save it in little ways every single day. I believe that I could not have accomplished what I have in the last few years if not for the strength God gives me moment by moment. I believe that I never would have had the absolutely mad desire to go to seminary and become a pastor, yet here I am.

Has God done a miracle in your life? What is it? What would it take for you to share it?

If you are still here, thanks for reading! Please share this post as you feel led. And know that I am available to talk if you ever need to. God Bless ❤