Emily Howard, Writer

The title of this blog is Crazy Bold Faith. When I started it four years ago, I was on fire for God, grateful for grace and second chances, and excited about new and limitless ministry opportunities. Now here I am, almost done with seminary and working in church world. And while I am still eternally grateful for the grace I have been shown, I still love Jesus and want to be as much like him as humanly possible, in a lot of ways my fire has gone out. I am tired, and I can’t seem to muster the energy to be as bold as I was when I started this Crazy Bold Faith blog. And I struggle with this daily.

But…what if boldness changes? What if my bold today is different than it was four years ago? I think it is. I think as we grow and change our methods of evangelism and discipleship can change with us. Especially during this time of Covid and quarantine, I have been carrying a lot of guilt about not being strong and courageous. But.

Maybe sometimes boldness is making small steps forward instead of going backward or standing still.

Maybe boldness is making the difficult choice to take care of yourself instead of taking care of others.

Sometimes saying yes is a bold choice, but sometimes it is saying no.

As an introvert, boldness for me a lot of times is simply showing up, no matter how awkward it may feel. If I am depressed, it might be bold to simply take a shower, or walk to the mailbox, or make a phone call.

Jesus is gentle and kind, so much more so than we are with ourselves. I am striving to be like Jesus in every way, including giving me grace. Which, many times, is the boldest choice we can make.